Category Archives: Weird Science

Mmmm… Brainz… Zombie Brainz… Zombie Brain Anatomy

An important study has just concluded on the anatomy of zombie brains. I guess zombies will heretofore be known as “people suffering from Conscious Deficit Hypoactivity Disorder”.  Those poor CDHD bastards, they didn’t know what hit ’em. The researchers were thorough, noting the differences between the lumbering undead (CDHD1) and their more speedy brethren (CDHD2–see “28 Days Later”). The zombies in my best-selling (bawahahaha) Kindle book were of the Type 2 variety. I, for one, welcome our CDHD overlords.

Here’s a video outlining this breakthrough research:

This week in Consparanormal News

As in, conspiracy and paranormal. Just go with it. Look, I love a good conspiracy. Who doesn’t believe that the Greys from Zeta Reticuli are among us? Just ask Bob Lazar, who is about to come out of hiding to attend the  UFO Congress in Arizona next year. Conspiracies like Bob’s Area51 gravity drive are fun, harmless discussion starters. But when the ESA suddenly and out of nowhere drops anchor on a speeding comet that crosses paths with Earth’s orbit in a few years, well, you can go ahead and dunk me in a big vat of shit-just-got-real-juice.

Raise your hand if you think “Comet” 67P is a comet. Any takers? Why would we (ahem, EUROPE) spend billions of dollars to land on a random piece of space junk? Answer: we wouldn’t, unless there’s something nefarious going on here. I certainly won’t be surprised when, in a few years from now, we send Bruce Willis on a suicide mission to nuke “Comet” 67P.

As with all good Nasa conspiracies, this one comes with an anonymous tipster, some shady photoshopping, and–this one’s unique–some unexplained radio transmissions from the “comet”. Uh-huh. Just a random piece of space junk. Sure.

Now for the real-juice: the folks at YouTube Channel SecureTeam10 have the full scoop. Take a minute to watch this video. If you can possibly explain the webbing anomalies seen in the video, well then, I’ll just assume you are part of the cover-up. If you think this is all hogwash, and that on the off-chance it is real that we can just rely on Aerosmith’s love-child’s movie-daddy to save the world, well, dream on folks. This shit is real.

Oh, and while we’re at it, Nasa just found fish fossils on Mars. Fuck.

In Other Nuclear Fusion News…

In actual nuclear fusion news, Lockheed Martin have announced a nuclear fusion reactor skunkworks project powerful enough to deliver 100MW of energy and “small enough to fit on back of a truck.” The article goes on to state that the energy is also cleaner than my DMV record: “Compact nuclear fusion would produce far less waste than coal-powered plants since it would use deuterium-tritium fuel, which can generate nearly 10 million times more energy than the same amount of fossil fuels, the company said.”

That Rossi guy better get his cold fusion ECAT product to market ASAP.

J, do you believe in this one?

E-Cat, cold fusion, and the dreams global change

So, apparently some dude named Andrea Rossi has been claiming that he has invented a cold fusion device. He’s been talking about this for a while, and debunked once before, but now has reported that a gaggle of independent and trustworthy scientists have confirmed the energy creation. In short, the weird looking dumbbell (the device, not the creator) created 1.5 megawatt hours of energy over 32 days, which seems just about enough to take you back to October 26, 1985.

As I understand it (read: not at all), cold fusion is the ability to create a nuclear reaction at room temperature. There have been plenty of hoaxes about creating cold fusion in the past, and more than likely, this is following suit. Wikipedia defines this as Pathological Science. Just read the comments in this slashdot article which seem to assume the hoaxworthyness of this claim. That said, some people are arguing that the tests prove conclusively that Rossi did, in fact, generate the energy. Whether he used cold fusion to do so, that is certainly up in the air. More info on the device itself can be found on wikipedia; the device claims to use “nickel [to] spontaneously ionize hydrogen gas and therefore ‘absorb’ the resulting proton”. Huh.

J, you know about this shit, what say you? Any chance I can buy an E-Cat LENR box via Amazon Prime soon?

Comet heading towards Mars

I don’t mean to scare anyone, but a giant comet is heading towards Mars. Impact and subsequent calamity is due October 19. Of course, Nasa says we should be just fine here on Earth–heh, right, theses are the same people who lied about the moon landing. But whatever. Anything hailing from the “Oort Cloud” can’t be a benevolent visitor. So, until October 19th, go on about your business as if you aren’t going to blown to smithereens.

Also, don’t be alarmed, but this other comet is being driven by a GIANT FACE:

WTF, comets? Jees, leave us alone already.

Who is Webdriver Torso?

The internet has recently had their panties in a bunch over a mysterious youtube user by the name of Webdriver Torso. For some months, this mysterious youtube user has been posting cryptic videos onto Youtube at startling rates (77,772 videos as of the writing of this post). The videos are all similar in style; short (10 seconds-ish) with buzzes, beeps, and odd primary color rectangles.

What could these strange videos mean? Could they be cryptic CIA encoded messages for surreptitious operatives, such as was used with radio signals in the 60s? Or maybe these are messages from an alien race attempting first contact with Earth, just as our own government predicted? Or maybe, just maybe, it’s a software test account using this webdriver tool? Nah, I’m going with aliens.

Here’s an example of one of the videos. A free beer to whoever figures out the message: