All posts by J

Twitch Attempts To Play Dark Souls

And the results make me despair for the democratic system of government. If you can stand the pain, take a look: They have been stuck in the Undead Asylum for 4 days. I think they’ve been stuck at that same corner for near a day. They’ve worn out their only decent weapon by hitting it against the wall so much that I don’t think it possible for them to do enough damage to the Asylum Demon for them to ever escape. They only have the broken straight sword left, and that can’t last long, so then they will be down to fisticuffs vs a giant demon. Good luck

Dude completes Dark Souls using voice commands

Check out the link and video here. As someone who has yet to beat the game, I do not understand how this is possible. It’s all about timing in the Souls games. How the hell do you deal with the delay from the voice recognition software? At the link is a video of his fight against Ornstein and Smough, which is generally considered the most difficult in Dark Souls. I know I died about 30 times fighting those bastards. I tried everything. Every possible armor configuration. Going in near naked to increase dodge speed. Going in tanked up and doing fatty rolls. Started with the lightning spear, then went on a side quest to forge the fury sword and stock up on humanity (fury sword scales damage with humanity) but to no avail. I could always easily beat one of them, but then would get one hit killed after the second one powered up. funny thing is, I stepped back from the game, played through Bloodborne, then picked it up again, walked into their boss room, and wiped the floor with them. I never even took any damage. It was 60 seconds of pure bliss. And that is why I love the Souls games. Oh – and I just started a new character, even though I have yet to beat it on my first character. Did a tank build the first time around, doing a sorcerer build this time. For first time players – sorcerer or pyromancer build == easy mode. So many of the bosses were just easy. Bell Gargoyles? Killed the first one before his fire breathing buddy had a chance to go to work on me. Bridge dragon? Cheesed his ass from under the bridge. Black Knights? Hide around a corner, and hit ’em with a Great Heavy Soul Arrow. The only one who has given me trouble so far has been the Capra Demon. And that just because of his god damned dogs.

Last Obstacle to Skynet’s Dominance Removed By Microsoft

With the introduction of Windows 10, updates will now be automatic and forced. Seriously? Are they actively trying to piss off any and all IT managers out there? Because I’ve never known one who wanted to give up control. And I understand why. I’ve had numerous occasions where a new driver version will break my system, or where one of their security fixes is to just temporarily turn an essential feature off until they have time to fix that actual problem (I had this happen earlier this year where they disabled activex controls in office VisualBasic programs for about 2 weeks.) Just imagine what can happen if someone (or something) hacks their system. Doooooomed! We’re all dooooooomed!

RIP Iwata-San

As most of you have heard, Satoru Iwata, Nintendo’s president for the last 13 years died unexpectedly this last weekend. He had been fighting cancer on his bile duct for some time, but he had returned to work and was apparently feeling well, although not well enough to make it to E3, where he appeared in Muppet form:

Why did he appear at the largest show of the year as a Muppet? Because he could, and he was a pretty cool dude. Before becoming president of Nintendo, he was president of one of their game development companies, and had worked there since ’84. While president of that company, he would take on problem programming projects and fricking write or debug the code himself if shit wasn’t getting done right. How many other electronic companies have a president who came up through the trenches and could do that?

He was steadfast in his opposition to many gaming trends, some laudable (he opposed micro-transactions and DLC.) and some curious (he opposed gaming on smartphones until recently.) He also insisted they ship a finished product – which led to significant delays in several high profile launches. Many thought this was backward thinking to the old days when you had to ship a cartridge, and updates weren’t a possibility. But he insisted on it because he felt they had a duty to their customers that had no or limited net access who could not download a multi gig update.

He always seemed to me to be the straight man out of a anime comedy. The stereotypical Japanese Samurai transported to the present era.

I leave you with Ars Technica’s collation of his more memorable quotes.

RIP Iwata-San