Josh and J’s ‘Anime I have Another’ Drinking Game
We have painstakingly developed the following rules over a series of years, so that you, our gentle readers, might more fully enjoy the insanity that is anime. Please remember to drink responsibly, and most importantly, have fun!
First, choose your desired end condition. Then select from the rules below.
- Quiet Evening – When all you want is a quiet, relaxing evening with friends, choose any three of the below rules.
- Bad Day – When you need to wash away a bad day, choose any four of the below rules, and the miracle of alcohol will transport you to the magical world of anime, where that shit doesn’t matter anymore.
- Encouragement – Whenever you need a little help to, say, call up you ex and leave her a message that will likely result in legal action, choose five of the below rules, and they’ll do the trick.
- Bad Decision – When you are hoping to make a few bad decision later this evening, select any six of the below rules, and we guarantee that you will be filled with regret and guilt tomorrow.
- Unfamiliar Ceiling – This is when you wake up, staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, stark naked, with no memory, but with a bad hangover. The balance of evidence suggests that you were involved in some sort of cosplay orgy. To achieve this end condition, play with all the rules listed below, and also drink whenever “it feels appropriate.”
- Drink Along – Drink whenever anyone in the anime you are watching drinks. If you feel like really upping your game, and you have the bar to do it, drink what they drink.
- Failure is Not an Option! – Whenever anyone swears to do something “without fail.”
- Precisely! – Whenever completely unnecessary precision is used. For instance, a character could say “about 4 billion people live on this planet,” but instead, they say “3,876,000,000 people live on this planet.”
- Double Uh-tondre – Whenever a character utters two interjections in a row, as in “Uh. Oh. Erm.”
- Mysterio – Whenever someone’s identity is revealed to a character, but not the audience.
- From on High – Whenever a new character is introduced standing at a high point, looking down on the other characters, and cracks wise.
- Split Screen – Whenever a split screen appears. Take one drink if the screen is split 3 or fewer ways, add a drink for each split past three. Apply this rule judiciously.
- The Polite Foe – When an enemy who is battling the protagonist pauses politely to allow for a some lite chat, or strategy session.
- Announcement – Whenever a character announces his fight move prior to executing it. Take a shot if the character just invented the move, and there has been no previous mention of it.
- Gratuitous use of Power Lines – Whenever the director gratuitously shows shots of power lines after power lines.
- Lost in Translation – When you are watching a subtitled anime, and the translation is clearly wrong, take a drink. Take a shot if the Japanese audio has the correct phrase in English.
- Unhelpable – Whenever something “can’t be helped.”
- Seriousness – Whenever someone “gets serious” in a battle.
- Seriousness-er – When, during battle, someone gets serious, but apparently not serious enough, and then has really get serious, take a shot.
- Unforgiven – Whenever someone swears to “never forgive” someone else. Take a shot if they subsequently do, in fact, forgive them. Beer chaser if this occurs in 3 or fewer episodes.
- Shit Gets Revealed – What, precisely constitutes “Shit Getting Revealed”, you ask. Here’s some simple examples to help you out:
- 1. Oh, my GAWD, Matsuke is in love with Hiro! This *does not* constitute shit getting revealed.
- 2. So I noticed that you have been admiring my left arm. Perhaps that is because it is your left arm that I tore from your body, then surgically attached it to my own so that I can, through unspecified means, then control your movements. This constitutes shit getting revealed.
- 3. The girl that you have been strangely attracted to? And to whom you’ve been masterbating so furiously to that you’re now painfully chaffed? Yah, it turns out she’s a clone of your mother. This constitutes shit getting revealed.
- Get the idea?
- Blatent Plot Device – Whenever a completely contrived plot device is introduced. One for which there is no adequate explanation. For instance, a character is randomly given the power to issue a command to any person, but may only use that power on each person once. Or a young boy finds an ancient artifact / mecha that only he can control.
- Deus ex Machina Fail – Take a shot whenever the anime you are watching concludes with a completely improbable ending that tries to tie up all loose ends, but fails. Seriously, you have the power of God in a fucking machine*, and you can’t pull this shit off? Bonus drink if the writes took “Deus ex Machina” literally, and made God into a computer to end their series. I’m looking at you “Demon King Diamo.”
* Knowing our readership, I should clarify that by this phrase I do not mean that someone has harnessed the power of God in order to give life to a machine that imparts a reciprocating motion to a series of dildos.