J’s Star Wars Edits

Ok – after having some time to digest the new SW film, I have to say that overall it was a decent flick, but it could have been a great film, with some small modifications. This review (although more critical than my own take) pretty well details all the flaws I saw in the film.

So here’s the principal flaws I saw, and my proposed solutions:

Problem: Finn’s transition to the light is meaningless because he was never a baddie. Seriously, what did he ever do that was evil? Clean a toilet poorly?

Solution: Baby murderin’. Have him slaughter like a dozen little kids. Then he would have something on his conscience that might create a meaningful transition.

Problem: Rey’s perfection. She literally does nothing wrong or poorly. There is no way she should be able to Jedi Mind Trick someone, or be able to go up against Emo Ren in a lightsaber battle.

Solution: Give her some flaws. How bout a space heroin addiction? Maybe she had to occasionally make ends meet by um.. making ends meet. She needs something to overcome on her path to becoming a Jedi. Luke had his whininess and anger management issues. She just looks like a prodigy who will do no wrong. How about instead of using a Jedi Mind trick, have Emo Ren be obsessed with her, and she uses her feminine wiles to escape? Why not give her a serious injury in the lightsaber battle with Ren?

Problem: Emo Ren. This dude just isn’t a baddie.

Solution: Make him badass. If he really wanted to emulate Vader, I would think he would overdo everything as opposed to being timid. He would want to constantly prove he was as bad ass as Vader was, and force choke people for looking at him sideways. He can still be conflicted so long as it is made clear his behavior is more about emulating his hero than stemming from his own anger.

Problem: Incoherent, Abramized plot.

Solution: Stick to the main plot, which was to find Luke. There’s no reason to throw in another Death Star destruction battle. And having R2 have the map all the time and just happening to wake up at the right moment? Lazy writing. You could have had a relentless pursuit by the First Order of Rey & co as they race to find Luke. Then have him actually reveal something about why he left. EG maybe he’s discovered some horrible dark secret behind the force or some shit.

Overall, I’m hopeful for the next film. I pretty much got what I expected out of this film, which was a paint by numbers, play it safe, let’s make our money back flick. Now, I believe they will let someone run in a more creative direction, and that could end up being another Empire.

One thought on “J’s Star Wars Edits

  1. I both agree and disagree. I’m going to handle these in order.

    Problem 1, Finn’s innocence: I disagree with this. I think his character is supposed to be innocent, and that helps with the comedic aspects of the film. If his past were too dark, this wouldn’t work. We’re going to have plenty of dark-past material with Ben.

    Problem 2, Rey’s perfection: Disagree with this as well. I guess you have some points here, but I didn’t have a problem with her character at all. I think she was very much the Luke of the series, and I don’t agree that Luke had problems. He was a spoiled farmer-brat.

    Problem 3, Emo Ren: Yeah, OK, I can kind of get behind this, but I’m also not that bothered by it. Plus, it’s led to some of the best Star Wars memes since “NOOOooOOoOOoOoOo!!”

    Problem 3, AbramPlot: THIS. This is my biggest issue, and my biggest fear moving forward. I disliked the new death-star. That was one tread too many on the retread machine. I also felt, in typical Abram style, that there were far too many open plot holes. It’s like Lost; Abrahms throws out all of these crazy itinerant forks in the road, without any idea of where he’s headed. I’m very worried, given Abrahms history (ahem, Lost) that no plan was developed for Episodes 8 and 9. Now, that said, Kasdan’s inclusion brings me some hope, but we’ll see.

    In general, imho, Episode 4 is overrated. It’s cheesy, the plot is questionable, and there is an abundance of poor acting. We all overlook this because it was the first, and it was amazing at the time. But Episode 5 is so much better. Episode 7 is a retread of Episode 4 and it holds up fine for the most part. I liked it a lot, but the Jury is still out. The verdict will come after Episodes 8 and 9.

Josh and J are very lonely. Please leave a reply. Pretty please?