Josh’s take on The Walking Dead (or: how I learned to hate White Trash Zombie Hour).

Let me start by saying how much I enjoy the White Trash Zombie Hour that is otherwise known as The Walking Dead. White Trash Zombie Hour (henceforth WTZH) is about Zombies, and I’m a sucker for Zombies. So much so, I even wrote my own novel about them. So, given the choice between watching a well produced and well acted hour of zombie horror versus any of the other inane reality bullshit that TV spews out these days, well, I’ll take the zombies.

Now, that said, I do have some serious gripes with WTZH. Considering this small group of southern rebels have barely investigated the zombie plague, I’m left to deduce that the more–ahem, let’s just be pretentious and admit that everyone north of the Mason-Dixon line is more intelligent than this lousy crew–intelligent portions of society are getting along just fine, thank you very much. Seriously, what band of zombie survivalists doesn’t try–even in the slightest–to make contact with larger portions of society? I know, in the first season they went to Atlanta and it was totally overrun, but that doesn’t mean the entire world has fallen to shit. After all, if we had to give up on a large metropolis, I’d vote for Atlanta as an early option (after the entirety of Texas had fallen, of course).

All I’m saying is, without further evidence, I’m going to assume the entire west coast is doing great. They found a vaccine to the disease months ago. They rounded up all the corpses west of the Rockies and shot them into space, or burned them in a giant pile up in Canada. And now, to pass the time, people on the internet incessantly browse Google Earth for funny images of small groups of idiots in the south who don’t realize that the rest of the world is back to normal.

And lastly, if the world really is all shitty, why not just find yourself an island? Or how about a prison with better fences? Or how about a stadium? Stadiums would be perfect for the zombie apocalypse: shelter, open air, area for farming. Shit, if the dolts on WTZH had taken over Turner field then every time they killed a zombie they could chant that stupid braves whoaoaoaa chop song. That would raise their spirits for sure.

Anyhow, it’s still a great show and everyone should watch it.

PS — J, sorry about alienating our entire southern readership (all 1 of them).

 

Josh and J are very lonely. Please leave a reply. Pretty please?